Why does my author biography have to be written in third person when I’m the one writing it? It’s weird to write about myself like that. And really, does anyone put what they really want to say in their bio? I mean, why can’t I say:
RB is an AWESOME writer. You will be missing out if you don’t buy her book the moment it’s on sale. Each sentence of her exquisite masterpiece will move you to tears and laughter. Her words of wisdom will inspire you to change your life.
Okay, I’m done. But seriously, if I’m the author of my author bio why should it be written as if someone else penned it? When I was younger—fine, like three months ago—I’d read a bio on the back cover of a book and would be curious who the very super cool person is who wrote it. They knew the author SO WELL. They must be BFFs. Then I’d wished that I was the BFF of that author. Will readers read my bio and wonder who the BFF is who penned it? Will they be SO jealous and then want to be my BFF? Then when my readers find out the truth—gasp, that I wrote my own bio—will they feel tricked and hurt? Will they vow never to read another book of mine again? Sorry. Now I’m done.
As you may have guessed, SMP requested that I send in my author bio for their website. I wrote it as if my very super cool BFF was writing it. I would just like to say thank you to this very super cool BFF for writing such nice things. You are so sweet. Perhaps I can persuade you to write Ella’s bio when she needs one. I know she’d love to have such a super cool sweet BFF write lovely things about her, too. (Opps. Guess, I wasn’t done.)