Because—hah!—I get to go first!
Alas, I fear things have not gone at all well for the Slogar family this week. Professor Helena Slogar, in her continuing quest to create the perfect husband for her beloved daughter, Melissa, has once again hired itinerant gravedigger Elias E. Gorr to supply her with the . . . product . . . she needs. Elias, being a thoughtful and cautious man, waited until he was certain not to disturb any of the other visitors or the cemetery caretaker to carry out his job. That is to say, he went in the middle of the night. Continue reading